Moods & Emotions / Question
Published: May 14, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I know that this is not really a health question, and I feel selfish for asking, but what is so special about turning 19 years old? My 19th birthday is in about a week, and I am not looking forward to it. People get excited about turning 15, 16, 17, 18, and 21, because there are new privileges associated with those ages. But, what is so great about 19? People tell me that it is just one more year closer to 21, which is when I will be able to drink. However, I don't like to drink, and I don't plan on drinking ever in my life. For my whole life, I have always been anxiously anticipating my birthday, but now I don't care about it. Do you have any ideas for how I can look forward to my birthday?
Signed: How Can I Look Forward To My Birthday?
Dear How Can I Look Forward To My Birthday?,
TeenHealthFX does view this as a health question – we think that your not being excited about your upcoming birthday is probably associated with issues around happiness and self-esteem, which makes this a question about your emotional health. So don’t feel badly or selfish for asking about this – we think this is a great question.
In terms of trying to feeling better about this upcoming birthday, FX suggests that you think about what might be getting in the way of your feeling excited about turning 19. Sometimes when people are feeling depressed it is difficult to get excited about things that previously were of interest. In addition, some teens do not look forward to getting older because they you have a negative view of adults and adulthood – the lifestyle, the responsibility, the way in which they see adults functioning. FX wonders if this is an issue for you, that it might be hard for you to see yourself moving closer and closer to being in the adult world. It is also possible that how you are feeling about this birthday reflects how your family looks at birthdays – that they are something to plan for and be excited about for younger kids, but they are not as big a deal as you get older. Without knowing more about you, obviously FX can only speculate – but we do think it would be helpful to think about anything that might be getting in the way of your being excited about your birthday and to talk with a therapist or any trusted adult about the issue.
As for ways to feel more positive about your birthday, it also might be helpful for you to alter your perception of why people celebrate birthdays. You describe above a focus on the joy of a birthday as what new privilege that birthday will bring you. However, maybe it would be more helpful for you to think of birthdays as a time when you can celebrate yourself and all of the things that make you special – and give the people who love you a chance to celebrate your life as well. It might also help you to come up with a way to celebrate that would truly be meaningful to you – not what you think others would want or would expect of you. If there was a celebration in place that was something you would really enjoy, you might also look more forward to it. FX wants to stress that it is okay to celebrate your life and what a wonderful person you are – and to request of your loved ones that you celebrate it in a particular way that will feel loving and meaningful to you.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
The teen pregnancy rate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized democracy, nearly twice that of Great Britain and 10 times that of Japan. 
