TeenHealthFX - Answers - How Do I Begin To Get Help?

Suicide / Question
Published: December 31, 2008

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I feel very suicidal. I'm not sure if it's something I'll get over or not. I am definitely depressed. I've had feelings of suicided and have attempted it on over a dozen occasions since I was 11. I'm 13 now and I thought I was doing better, but I can't stop crying today. I have no idea why, nothing bad has happened, I'm just very depressed. I've cut my wrists more times than I can count and the scars are VERY noticable. I hide them with wristbands and sleeves, but my twin sister has still seen them. She didn't say anything, and I'm wondering if this is a sign that she doesn't care; she doesn't want to say anything; or she doesn't think it's anything to worry about. I want help, I don't want to die, but I'm scared that one day I'll slip up and I'll do something that will end my life. So my question is this: How do I begin to get help?

Signed: How Do I Begin To Get Help?

Dear How Do I Begin To Get Help?,

TeenHealthFX is very concerned about you and thinks that it is important for you to speak to a mental health professional about your depression, suicidal impulses, and the cuts on your wrists. A therapist can help you to better understand what is contributing to your depression and what treatment options would be most effective for you (such as individual therapy, family therapy, medication management, or some combination of the three). You’ve already taken your first step to getting help by writing into us. Now you need to take the second step by telling an adult how you are feeling so that adult can arrange for you to meet with a therapist. You could speak to your parents, a teacher, a school social worker or guidance counselor, an adult neighbor or friend of the family, or anyone else you trust to help you. Once you’ve spoken to an adult, then the next step would be to have that adult help you to find a therapist trained in working with adolescents with mood disorders.

As for your twin sister, the fact that she has seen your scars and has not said anything can mean many things, but does not necessarily indicate that she does not care about what is happening to you. She may be scared and unsure what to do, she may want to turn a blind eye because it is too painful and hurtful for her to think of you being in so much emotional pain, or she may be in her own pain and by starting a conversation about what is going on with you it may open up issues that she is not ready to address in herself. There are many possibilities, and FX thinks that when the time feels right to you it would be helpful for you to tell your sister about your concerns. It’s hard to imagine that your twin sister simply doesn’t care about what happens to you – so it would probably be helpful for you to find out from her at some point what did make it hard for her to intervene.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX