Cutting / Question
Published: February 16, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
About a year ago, I started cutting myself. I wouldn't give my virginity to my now ex boyfriend because I wasn't ready so he cheated on me with at least 4 girls. Than my mom became very sick. Her kidney's started to fail and her diabetes was taking her health downhill. The only person that mattered at the time moved to another state because she didn't like the small town we were in. So that's where the cutting started. My parents got me zoloft and therapy. I quit both because it felt like I had support. I occasionally thought of cutting when I felt stressed but I usually just opened a bottle of vodka or whiskey. But my hockey coach caught me and was upset. She said that she no longer cared what I did. I stopped to impress her to let her know that I was seriously not going to do it anymore. So now, im back to cutting. But its worse. I'm scared and feel alone. Last time my parents knew they cussed me and flipped out and took everything from me. My friends, my job and kept me from school. So telling them is not an option but when I went to the doctor in secrecy, they said they couldn't do anything without notifying my parents because I was a minor. So do i keep cutting or start drinking again?
Signed: Do I Keep Cutting Or Start Drinking Again
Dear Do I Keep Cutting Or Start Drinking Again,
TeenHealthFX is very sorry to hear that you had to endure three very difficult situations – having your boyfriend cheat on you, your mom getting ill, and then your friend moving out-of-state. That is a lot for anyone to cope with – and FX can appreciate that you still may be having difficulties dealing with these things. However, FX does not think that you should resort to cutting OR drinking. Both are maladaptive and problematic ways of coping with difficult situation and various negative emotions. FX thinks that it is important for you to learn new, healthier coping skills and to have someone in your life who you can feel safe opening up to.
FX does think that it would be important for you to be back in therapy. If you are worried about mentioning anything about cutting to your parents because of how they will react, let them know that you are feeling sad and agitated about a few different things in your life right now and that you think it would be helpful for you to meet with a therapist to have someone to talk to about these things, as well as to learn some new coping skills. By approaching them this way, you are being completely reasonable and responsible – you are saying that you are seeing you are having trouble with something and you want to find a positive solution to dealing with it.
Once you are in therapy, FX thinks it is important for you to talk about all of these stressors and learn new ways of coping with them. FX also thinks that it might be helpful for you to talk about your relationships with people in general. Given some of your past experiences with various people, FX wonders if it feels hard for you to trust others – to trust that they will be there for you, will be considerate of you and understanding, and will be helpful and protective of you. Finally, at some point FX thinks that it would be helpful for your therapist to involve your parents in the process – so they can get a better idea of what is going on with you and learn how to be supportive, compassionate and helpful towards you so you can work through these issues.
If you have trouble convincing your parents to put you back into therapy, speak with a counselor at school, an extended family member, or any other trusted adult who can intervene on your behalf.
If you live in northern
If you find the cutting or drinking gets to be a problem again, know that these hotlines exist and may be helpful for you:
- The Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.
- National Institute on Drug Abuse & Alcoholism, 1-888-644-6432
Signed: TeenHealthFX
At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives.
