TeenHealthFX - Answers - Father Was Run Over And Killed When I Was 7

Death & Dying / Question
Published: February 25, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

my dad was run over and killed when i was 7. im 14 now. when i get stressed about it like on aniversarys or birthdays i cut myself. when i watch somthing that someone gets run over in i cry. if people mention someone getting run over and killed i get so stressed i cry and run away. how am i suposed to live my life when i cant do anything that involves even the thort of a road accident?

Signed: Father Was Run Over And Killed When I Was 7

Dear Father Was Run Over And Killed When I Was 7,

TeenHealthFX is so sorry to hear that you lost your father in such a tragic accident. While we can only imagine the pain you have been through, we do think that with time you will be able to live your life without being so overwhelmed and overly affected by these triggers. However, it sounds like you may need to get some support and help in dealing with the feelings you have about losing your father before this can happen. You lost your father at a very young age and in a very terrible way. FX can imagine that you have been feeling a great deal of sadness, pain, loss, anger, and fear about this for years. And we think it is important for you to talk about all of these feelings with a mental health professional trained in working with people who are dealing with issues around death and dying. That way you can work through your feelings connected to his death, develop new coping mechanisms other than cutting, and have someone there for you for general support and guidance and you work through this grief. There will always be some amount of sadness in you about his death, but with some time and work the negative feelings you do have will not interfere with your day-to-day functioning as they seem to be now.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

FX also suggests that you look into Rainbows, a non-profit, international organization that works to help children and teens who have had to deal with some kind of loss in their lives, at www.rainbows.org.

You can also contact the Self-Injury Hotline (information only, not a crisis line) at 1-800-DON’T-CUT, 1-800-366-8288.

Signed: TeenHealthFX