TeenHealthFX - Answers - My Mother Has Ocular Rosacea

Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: March 18, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My mother was diagnosed with occular rosacea. She's never had a positive self-image and this is making her really depressed. I suggested she change her makeup or take out of her diet the foods that make her feel sick. (i.e. she gets sick from ice cream so i suggested cutting out dairy). i think a big part of this is that she's having a really hard time dealing with her own mother. at one point they were living together again but they never really liked each other. now that she doesn't live with her she seems happier but it's like she can never be ok. now she's stuck with me (i'm not a good daughter) and ugly, red eyes. what can she do? how can i help?

Signed: My Mother Has Ocular Rosacea

Dear My Mother Has Ocular Rosacea,

The one way in which you can help your mother is to encourage her to seek out mental health treatment for herself, and to think about whether or not there is anyone else you can talk to who can help you with this pursuit (such as a school counselor, extended family member, family doctor, neighbor, or anyone else who could speak up on your behalf and have some positive influence on your mother). If she is depressed and is dealing with low self-esteem, then she would benefit from meeting with a trained therapist who can be there for her with guidance and support. Just remember that this isn’t a problem you can fix for her – the best you can do is to let her know that you are worried about her and that you think it would be helpful for her and for you if she got some help for herself.

FX is also wondering about your self-esteem since you referred to yourself as “ugly” and said that your mother is “stuck” with you. If you are feeling that badly about yourself, and if you are (understandably) having difficulties in coping with your mother’s situation, it would be helpful for you to talk to someone as well. You could meet with your school social worker or psychologist or see a private therapist for your own individual therapy.

If you and your mother live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX