TeenHealthFX - Answers - Friend Has A Blood Disorder And Tumor In His Arm

Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: April 6, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My friend has a blood disorder and had a tumor in his arm. He said he liked his life but then a couple days later he said he wanted to kill himself. I tell him not to because i he is like my closest friend and i would hate my life without him here with me. He says everyone hates him. He thinks hes really ugly. But he really isnt. We talk like every day and he says im the only one that cares about him and makes him happy. I really do care about him and i love him hes like my brother. He says he loves me like a sister. I really dont wanna live without him and a while ago he said he likes his life now and doesnt want to kill himself anymore but i think that feeping of wanting to kill himself will come back. What should i do?

Signed: Friend Has A Blood Disorder And Tumor In His Arm

Dear Friend Has A Blood Disorder And Tumor In His Arm,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is very important for you to tell your friend that his comments about wanting to hurt himself have you deeply concerned. Let him know that you think he needs to speak to a mental health professional about what is contributing to these feelings so that he can get the help he needs so he will not feel any urges to harm himself. Tell your friend that he is very important to you, that you cannot imagine life without him, and that since you care about him and your relationship so much it is very important that he speak to someone about this as soon as possible. If your friend refuses to seek out help (or makes excuses and delays the process), be clear with him that if he does not tell someone about how he has been feeling, you will. He may become angry or distressed at this, but you can tell him that you are not going to tell someone to hurt him or make his life difficult – but to ensure he gets the help he needs so that he will feel better about himself and about life.

You can also give your friend the following information:

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX