TeenHealthFX - Answers - 14 Year Old Stress Bomb

Stress / Question
Published: April 20, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

i suck at absolutley every sport i try my selfesteem is just getting lower and nothing that i do seems to please my parents and on top of that my grades are slipping i have tremendous stress and pressure and i feel like i'm going to blow i've had thought of suicide before but i shook it off i'm never mad or blow up at anyone but i feel like im going to any day signed,14 year old stress bomb

Signed: 14 Year Old Stress Bomb

Dear 14 Year Old Stress Bomb,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that you are feeling so stressed, and we are concerned that you see yourself as a “stress bomb” ready to go off at any time. FX thinks that the first thing you need to do is speak to your parents about what you are going through – let them know about your low self-esteem, your slipping grades, the pressure you feel you are under, your concern about being able to please them, and that you have thoughts of suicide and feel you could blow up at anyone at any time. It is important that your parents have a thorough understanding of what is going on with you so that they can be there for you in a caring and supportive way and so that they can help you deal with these various issues.

FX suggests that you participate in family and individual therapy. It sounds like you are feeling pressure from your parents about how you do in school and worry very much about pleasing them. This can create a very stressful and difficult situation for a child or teen and it is very important that it be addressed in family counseling. Individual therapy could help you to develop healthy coping mechanisms – ways to get out your anger and frustration so you do not feel suicidal or like you are going to blow. Therapy could also help you to find ways to help improve your self-esteem, as well as ways in which to handle the difficulties of school.

FX also recommends that you and your parents speak to someone at your school about this – a counselor, teacher or the principal. Since your grades are slipping it is important for you, your parents, and school staff members to find out why your grades are slipping and take whatever actions are necessary to help you get back on track. The staff members who work with you at your school want to see that you succeed academically, socially, and emotionally and are there to help you achieve that success.

The bottom line here is that FX wants you to know that things can get better for you. To make that happen it will be very important for you to reach out to various people around you – your parents, school staff, a private therapist. It is important that you have the support and guidance of adults around you so you can come up with a workable solution to these problems and so you do not feel like you have to do it alone.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.

For more information, please read I.M. Stressed, Stressed Out From School, and the For Teens By Teens article 10 Ways To De-Stress Your Life.

Signed: TeenHealthFX