TeenHealthFX - Answers - Friend Raped By Someone She Thought Was Her Friend

Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: April 20, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I have used this website many times before and it has provided me with my answers everytime i had a question i love the site and feel you are doing a good job but my problem is. well my very very close friend i think of her as my sister and she thinks of me as her brother and we share everything but recently she was raped by someone she thought was her friend and i need some advice on how to help her through this i want to be there for her

Signed: Friend Raped By Someone She Thought Was Her Friend

Dear Friend Raped By Someone She Thought Was Her Friend,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that your friend was raped. She must be going through a very difficult time right now, and you must be feeling anger and pain about it as well if she is like a sister to you. FX thinks that it is important that you let your friend know you are there for her to listen or for a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. If your friend blames herself at all for what happened, FX thinks that it is very important for you to stress to her that it is not her fault and that the person who raped her is completely responsible. Finally, FX thinks that it is very important for you to encourage your friend to notify her parents about what happened and to be in therapy with a counselor trained in dealing with victims of sexual abuse, if she has not done so already. She should not go through this alone – she needs the love and support of her friends and her family, and she needs help from a trained professional as she deals with all the thoughts and feelings she has about what happened to her.

FX wants you to remember that you cannot fix this for her. She will understandably be affected in different ways by this and will go through many negative feelings about what happened to her. You cannot stop that process or make everything better. What you can do is let her know that she has people around her who love her, and that things can and will get better for her in time. Leave the work that needs to be done more to her and her therapist. If you find you need guidance and support in helping her through this, speak to your parents, a school counselor, or any other trusted adult.

You can offer the following information to your friend:

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.
If you live in New Jersey you can contact JBWS (Jersey Battered Women’s Services) at 973-267-4763. This phone number is a 24 hour confidential helpline. Outside of NJ you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) – 1-800-787-3224 (TTY line for deaf callers) – 24 hours, 7days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX