TeenHealthFX - Answers - Depressed When I Think About The Past

Depression / Question
Published: April 22, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I don't really know how to say it but every time I think about the past I get really depressed. I'll be happy one second and then i'll think about something I did when my dad was still around and i'll get really sad. My dad left me about a year and a half ago. I don't know what's wrong with me. Every time I think about my dad and when he was still around I want to break down crying. My dad was addicted to drugs and didn't really care about me much so I started to live with my mom. I really loved living with my dad before my step mom Jacky came along. I really wish I could go back in time before Jacky came and stay there forever. I was so happy but now i'm so sad every time I think about it. I don't tell anyone because my dad was an addict and they'll probably look at me like i'm crazy but I can't help but get depressed when I think back. I've been so sad lately and I can't even show it...

Signed: Depressed When I Think About The Past

Dear Depressed When I Think About The Past,

TeenHealthFX does not think there is anything “crazy” about how you feel. We can actually understand why you would be feeling so sad right now. You might have sadness and anger that your father’s addiction has made it difficult for him to parent you in a completely responsible way. You may have sadness and anger in feeling somewhat replaced by your step-mother in terms of who your father devotes his time and affection to. There may also be a lot of pain due to a sense of longing of wanting a different relationship with your father than you have right now. In addition, you did not say much about your relationship with your mother, but if you do not feel close and connected with her that is another reason why you might be hurting right now.

FX thinks that it is very important for you to speak to a therapist about how you are feeling. Meeting with a therapist would offer you a private place to discuss these feelings in an environment where you will not be criticized or judged for how you are feeling. A therapist can help you to learn how to verbalize your feelings, as well as how to cope with any negative emotions and this situation you are dealing with.

If you find you are feeling very worried about what a therapist might think of you or what you are talking about, bring that concern up right away with your therapist and start by talking about that specific issue. Discussing this issue will be very helpful to you in the long-run in terms of your treatment and your relationships with others.

FX is sorry that your current family situation is not as you would like it to be. And we can understand completely that it would be causing you sadness and pain. But please know that things can feel better and that there are people out there who will want to be helpful to you and who will definitely be able to compassionate given what you are dealing with.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

FX also suggests that you look into Rainbows, a non-profit, international organization that works to help children and teens who have had to deal with some kind of loss in their lives.

Signed: TeenHealthFX