Helping Friends And Loved Ones With Their Emotional Issues / Question
Published: May 18, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I have a friend that means the world to me. He's been having a very difficult life since the day he was born. I dont know whether he is depressed or not.I ask him to please talk to me because I can't bear what he is going through. He says he has alot of pressure and that its starting to become to much to handle. He also says that he doesnt "want to be here anymore". He is a very sensitive person and I want to do everything I can to help him. He says that I cant help him and nor can anyone else. He's a very "keep to himself" kind of person. I dont know what to do anymore. I need your advice so I dont lose my best friend. He means so much to me and I can't believe what I would do if something were to happen to him. So please, I beg of you. Please help me and my friend. Thanks, Running out of time
Signed: Running Out Of Time With My Friend
Dear Running Out Of Time With My Friend,
TeenHealthFX suggest that you start by sitting down with your friend and letting him know that you are truly concerned about his emotional well-being. Tell him the changes you have seen in his mood and behavior that have lead to your concern and bring up any statements he has made (such as his when he said he doesn’t “want to be here anymore”) that have contributed to your worry. Let him know that you think it is very important for him to speak to his parents, a school counselor, or all three so that a consultation can be set up for him with a mental health professional. Tell your friend that you see that he is the kind of person that tends to keep things to himself, but then stress the importance of his reaching out for help. If he is feeling depressed or suicidal, working with a mental health professional can be very helpful. And if he is anxious at all about speaking with a therapist, let him know he can just start with that when he meets with someone – about how difficult it feels to him to open up to someone and make himself vulnerable in that way.
If your friend refuses to reach out for help, then let him know that you will speaking to his parents and/or a school counselor about your concerns for him. He may be angry with you about it, but let him know that you are doing this out of your care and concern for him – that you can’t just sit and do nothing while he is suffering. It is very important that your friend have adults who can intervene in a helpful way – and if he is unable to reach out, then it is very important that you speak to a trusted adult about what he is going through so that someone can intervene on his behalf.
You can also give your friend the following resources:
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
