Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: July 8, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Today I found my best friend crying in our school washroom in one of the stalls, she wouldn't open the door so I climbed over the stall. She was just crying and I asked her what was wrong because honestly I hadn't notiticed anything different happening to her(?). We are 13. She starts telling me about how her grandmother has been hitting her and her grandfather abusing her sexualy and forcing her to have sex with him and how she just had sex with her boyfriend, but now he is starting to ignore her. U feel like a horrible friend for not realizing what was happening to her. (she lives at her grandparents house and her parents died in a car crash, of which she was the only survivor.) she also said something really alarming " I might as well kill myself, no one would miss me". I don't know how to help her or even what to say! Please give me some advice! Signed- help me, my friend is suicidal
Signed: Help Me, My Friend Is Suicidal
Dear Help Me, My Friend Is Suicidal,
TeenHealthFX recommends you start by going to your friend and telling her that she needs to reach out to an adult for help with this. It is important that the abuse at home is reported to child protective services and that she receive the necessary mental health treatment as soon as possible to address her suicidal thoughts. You can tell her that you will go with her to talk to a trusted adult (such as a school counselor, teacher, neighbor, your parents, an extended family member outside of the home, or anyone else who is trustworthy), that you will go with her to the nearest emergency room right away, or that you will be with her if she would like to call child protective services herself.
If your friend refuses to reach out for help with you immediately, than tell her that you plan on telling a trusted adult yourself. Given the nature of this situation, it is not something that can be put off or a conversation that can be postponed. So if she will not seek out help right away, then as soon as possible you need to speak to a trusted adult who can contact child protective services and whatever other necessary agencies and people to ensure your friend’s safety and emotional well-being.
If you and/or your friend would like to contact child protective services yourself, you can contact DYFS at 1-800-NJ-ABUSE if you live in New Jersey. You can also call The Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-792-8610. This hotline is to report physical or sexual abuse for people living in or outside of New Jersey, and is available 24 hours a day, 7days a week.
If your friend gets to the point that she is seriously considering suicide or are afraid, then she needs to seek help immediately. You can tell her that in this kind of situation she can call 911 or go to her nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey she can also call the crisis hotline from Morristown Memorial hospital at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A sexually active teenager who does not use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within one year. 
