Helping Friends/Loved Ones Who Are Suicidal Or In Abusive Situations / Question
Published: June 19, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My sister was raped two years ago. The guy was caught and everything, but now my sister is afraid to go anywhere alone. We share a room and she leaves the light on and will look out the window every hour to make sure no one is there. She is afraid to go out with guys and screams in her sleep. She also started to cut her wrists. What do I do to help her? I don't want my twin to kill herself, but nothing seems to work.
Signed: I Don't Want My Twin To Kill Herself
Dear I Don't Want My Twin To Kill Herself,
Your sister has been through a horrible ordeal and one that will have a lasting impact for her and your family.
If your parents do not know about your sister's behavior you need to let them know immediately. Your sister needs to a see a mental health professional to help her deal with her thoughts and feelings about the rape. It can take a long time to recover from a trauma like rape, but people can and do recover. It sounds that your sister's actions are hindering her daily activities and yours to a certain extent - she may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. For you, it is painful to see your sister suffer emotionally and physically. You cannot carry the secret of your sister's actions on your own.
You mention that your sister has started to cut her wrists. Cutting can serve as an emotional release but it indicates a need for help. Your sister may not know how to let anyone know the pain she is feeling. You need to voice your concern to your parents immediately. You cannot control your sister's actions but if you believe that she may kill herself you must get her help.
Trained mental health professionals can help your sister evaluate her feelings and emotions. The support of you and your family is extremely important and will help her in this process. Let your sister know that you and your family are supporting her in every step so that she can heal herself. If you live in northern New Jersey and would like help finding a therapist you can contact the Access Center From Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.
If at any point you think your sister is suicidal or are afraid of her impulses you need to seek help right away. You can call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room for immediate assistance. In northern New Jersey you can call the Crisis Hotline at Morristown Memorial Hospital at 973-540-0100. In that same region you can also get help finding a psychiatrist or therapist by calling the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
