TeenHealthFX - Answers - Spanking Led To Rape

Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: April 24, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am 13 and ever since I can remember my Dad would always make me take my clothes off before he would spank me. Most of the time I do not deserve it. About 3 weeks ago I was 3mins late getting home from school and my Dad got really mad. He blindfolded me and took off all my clothes and started hit me with a belt then he started touching my vagina. I felt his fingers go in me a couple of times then I felt something else go in me. I think my Dad might have raped me. I do not have a Mom to tell or any family members that live close to me. Ever since that day he has come in my room every night and touched and played around with my body like it is some sex toy to him. What can I do, who can I call to get help?

Signed: Spanking Led To Rape

Dear Spanking Led To Rape,

TeenHealthFX is very concerned about you. What your dad is doing to you is called abuse - both physical and sexual, and meets the legal standards to be categorized as rape. He is abusing your body for his own sexual gratification and has nothing to do with punishment or any thing you did wrong. Your father has a sickness and the abuse in all probability will not stop until he is caught and forced to take responsibility for his actions.

If there are no family members you can tell then you can find an adult that you know and trust. There are also people in your school who are available to help you deal with this type of problem - your school counselor, school nurse or a teacher with whom you have a good relationship. You can also call your local child protection services or your local police. These are all people who will help make sure you are safe and getting the help you need. In northern New Jersey, call DYFS (the Division of Youth and Family Services) at 1-800-792-8610 or outside of this area call or log onto ChildHelp USA (1-800-4-A-CHILD at 1-800-422-4453 http://www.childhelpusa.org/forkids_help.htm

Once you have communicated what has been going on, the police will most likely arrest your dad and charge him with a sexual assault crime. It is important to remember that you did not cause this to happen and any consequence he receives is a direct result of his actions. Most sex offenders do not stop their behavior on their own. It is an illness that can only be treated by intensive therapy with specially trained mental health professionals. Many times being arrested is the only way that offenders are forced to confront their actions.

What you have been through has been very traumatic and will affect in many ways that you may not even be aware of yet. That is why it is so important that you seek out therapy for yourself. There are therapists and rape crisis centers that are very knowledgeable in treating victims of sexual abuse and guiding through them the process of recovery.

If you would like more information on this subject or need a place to start you can contact Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAIN), 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX