Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: May 14, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm really stuck and afraid. My dad wants nothing to do with me, and me and my mom can not stand each other. I was abused by both parents. I have been on the streets several times by my mother and I have been raped. I feel so alone and so unloved and I need help. I'm only 19 and since I am an adult, I don't know whom to turn to and I don't know if I can be helped. I have two months and I can't live at home anymore and I have no job and I am afraid I may not find a job in time or make enough money. I just don't want to end up in the streets. Please help! Thanks.
Signed: Don't Want To End Up In The Streets
Dear Don't Want To End Up In The Streets,
You have experienced a lot of hardship in your life with what seems like very little support. Despite your negative experiences, there is hope and you can always be helped.
At this point the most important thing would to address your basic needs. You need a place to live and to be able to eat and provide for yourself. You only have two months and that is not a lot of time but it is possible. Check to see if there are any relatives or friends that you can live with until you get on your feet. Let them know that your goal is to become independent but that you need some help. Offer to pay rent or contribute to the family household when you start earning some money. If there is no one who can take you in, look in the phonebook for programs that offer housing assistance or other social service agencies that may be able to assist you. Many of these agencies offer a wide variety of services that could be beneficial to you including job placement. You can also look for a job on your own or go to an employment agency or a temporary agency. You may not get the job you really want at first but you can always find one more suitable to your needs once you get settled.
Since you have experience have experienced such tremendous adversity in your life such as abuse, neglect and rape, counseling could be very valuable as a way of attending to your emotional needs and to give you support as you go through this difficult time. There are so many issues that must cause you confusion and zap you of your energy to function. Doing anything in life is so much harder when you do not feel good about yourself.
If you live in northern New Jersey and would like help finding a therapist, you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888.2471400. If at anytime you begin to feel overwhelmed and experience thoughts of harming yourself or are afraid of what you might do, seek help immediately. You should go to the nearest hospital emergency room for and ask for an emergency psychiatric consultation. In northern New Jersey you can call Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973.540.0100 for immediate assistance. Outside this area you can call: Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted. 
