TeenHealthFX - Answers - I Won't Be Able To Make It To 18 Alive

Family Abuse And Violence / Question
Published: July 9, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I'm 16 years old and me and my mother fight constantly she tells me I'm sick and she makes faces when ever she looks at me. She seems to always have something nasty to say to me. We fight brutally, usually verbally or she'll attempt to hurt me physically. It's really worse than it sounds. I don't have many friends cause I feel as though no one can understand me, and it's hard to open up to people, cause I'm so afraid they won't understand. I've been in and out of placement homes. I've lived with different relatives. It seems as though my mother cannot stop fighting with me, almost as if she has to. And her whole family hates her. I hate fighting with her constantly I wish so badly I could have independent living, I get scared that I won't be able to make it to 18 alive. I really need help. I go to therapy but when my mother comes in for family the therapist looks terrified of my mother and I don't blame her. My mother is a very tough woman. I hate living sometimes but I have a lot of goals and dreams I hope to achieve and that I feel is the only think keeping me alive. Is there anything you can suggest I do? Any numbers I could call? Anyone you think could help my situation? I'd really appreciate it.

Signed: I Won't Be Able To Make It To 18 Alive

Dear I Won't Be Able To Make It To 18 Alive,

TeenHealthFX hears how tough it has been for you - your family situation sounds like it has been stressful and unhealthy for a long time. TeenHealthFX recommends that you talk with your therapist in detail about what is going at home. Your therapist knows your situation - how your mother relates to you and the world and that you have been in out of home placements before due to family difficulties. Your therapist can talk to you about independent living and talk to child protective services in your state (as independent living is typically arranged through a state's child protective services).

If you live in New Jersey your therapist should call Division of Youth and Family Services in New Jersey (DYFS) at (800.792.8610) to talk to a caseworker about independent living. If you live outside of New Jersey, he or she can call local child protective services - you can find their number by logging on to ChildHelp USA.

You have every right to pursue your dreams. No one should prevent you from achieving your goals. Although this ordeal may be difficult and painful, it is important to know there is help. The emotional pain of yelling, fighting and insults is very damaging.

Signed: TeenHealthFX