TeenHealthFX - Answers - Will I Ever Have A Normal Relationship

Childhood Sexual Abuse / Question
Published: November 12, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Hi. I'm 16 years old, I was raped when I was 9 years old and thought that I had got over it but yesterday my boyfriend asked if I wanted to have sex with him and I freaked and said no! Although I do want to show him that I love him, I also don't like being alone with him. I do trust and love him but I haven't even told him about it, as I don't want to scare him off!!! What can I do? Will I ever have a normal relationship??? Please help.

Signed: Will I Ever Have A Normal Relationship

Dear Will I Ever Have A Normal Relationship,

TeenHealthFX is glad that you wrote, because you can have a normal relationship after being raped. Your reaction with your boyfriend is normal for someone who has experienced being raped.

You do not say if you got any help when you were 9 years old (like from your parents or a therapist). If you did not, it is not too late - talk to your parents about getting help for you. Rape is a traumatic experience that you can recover from with the help from a trained professional. There are many therapists and support groups that deal specifically with victims of sexual abuse. TeenHealthFX feels that it would be in your best interest to enter into a treatment setting with a person(s) who have expertise in this area. Having an outlet to deal with your feelings is vital to your recovery.

If you live in New Jersey, log onto the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault - you can find a rape crisis center in your county and information about rape. You can also find more information and/or a therapist on the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) or call at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), 24 hours, 7days a week.

Signed: TeenHealthFX