Laws & Policies / Question
Published: January 21, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm in NY and I was wondering what the age of consent for sex was. My boyfriend just turned 18 afew days ago, and I'm 16. We're only a grade apart, I was pushed up so it's not really that big a deal since we're not too far apart. We've been friends since elemntary school and we started dating when I was in ninth grade, now I'm a junior he's a senior. We've never had sex before, but we've talked about it alot and we're started to be ready. I've talked to my doctor and all I need to do is go in for an exam to get birth control, and he's got condoms and he knows how to use them and everything. We've thought everything through and we're really ready, but then we thought about if it was legally allowed. I know that Law and Order isn't the best source of information, but there's some kind of crime with haveing sex with someone who's an adult if you're only a teenager? I don't really know the rules, and though I'd never every report him to the police or anything like that, we're more worried if my parents found out and they overreacted. Basically, we want to know if there are any legal issues before we have sex or do we have to wait even more until I'm 17 or 18? Thanks. Age of Consent in NY
Signed: Age Of Consent In NY
Dear Age Of Consent In NY,
The legal age of consent in
Not that it would apply in your case – but just so you are informed about the law – there are also statutory rape laws. If the victim is under 13, and the defendant is at least 18, this constitutes a 1st degree sexual offense. 1st degree crimes are considered the most serious ones and carry the longest penalties. If the victim is under 15 and the perpetrator is as least 18, this constitutes a 2nd degree sexual offense. However, if the defendant is less than 4 years older than the victim, this may constitute an affirmative defense. Affirmative defenses are those in which the defendant introduces evidence which negates criminal liability.
So what all this means is that you are not considered in
It sounds like you have both given taking this step a lot of thought, and that you are feeling emotionally ready to have sex and you have taken steps to ensure that you will practice safer sex by using condoms and a back up method of birth control (like the pill) to help protect you against unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs – both of which are obviously important when thinking about becoming sexually active. However, it sounds like there are some concerns about how your parents might react and if you will have to deal with some tough situations if they were to find out you had sex. Even if they have nothing legally to hold over your head, there are still ways in which they can make things difficult for you – like forbidding the two of you to see each other, getting into constant arguments with you, or whatever else. That said, FX wonders if it would be helpful for you to have a discussion with your parents about this issue. Find out what their values and beliefs are, and make sure they know that you would not enter into a sexual relationships lightly – that you do think about emotional readiness, the nature of the relationship you are in, and practicing safer sex. If you and your parents can come to some kind of understanding about this, it might prevent them from reacting in any kind of terrible way if they found out.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes. 
