Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: March 11, 2004
Dear TeenHealthFX,
One of my best friends likes this guy, and he 'flirts' with her ALL the time. THAT GREAT!!! I'm happy, I really am. But, he'll 'flirt' with me. I like it, it's cool, cause I like him, too. The thing is, that he 'flirts' with almost ALL of the other girls in our school, it doesn't matter what grade she is in. But, lately, when he flirts with my friend, it seems like he wants to be in a relationship with her (cause he holds hands with her, and hugs her.) But he holds hands with all the girls, and he's hugged me a lot of times... but, at lunch he ignores her and talks to his friends, me, or some other girl. I don't care if he likes me or not, and I seriously doubt he likes me... But, what I am worried about, is my friend is TAKEN by his actions, and really REALLY likes him, I wouldn't say she LOVES him, but she is almost OBSESSIVE over him. What I am afraid of is that he is just joking around with her (cause he is known to do that). Another fact is, they have been good friends for a while, and ever since they have been friends, she has liked him. I know, I sound like I worry a little too much about my friends, but, I am REALLY worried that he is joking around with her. And I KNOW that IF he is just joking, and she finds out, she'll be REALLY crushed, and will think something is wrong with her, and will go under a deep depression (it's happened before). PLEASE don't think that I am jumping to the bad conclusions, cause I am not, it's just, I know this guy pretty well, and he has done this before (not to my friend, but to other girls). PLEASE help me, I just want some good advice about my 'situation, and how I can help her if he is joking, and how I can be supportive if he isn't joking and wants to have a relationship with her while I'm having some jealousy inside.
Signed: Don't Like Joking Playas
Dear Don't Like Joking Playas,
TeenHealthFX is a little confused since you mentioned that you don't care if this guy likes you or not, yet you point out that you are jealous inside. Thefrefore, FX thinks it might be helpful for you to evaluate the situation more closely. It sounds like you are very conflicted about your feelings since there is so much going on in your question.
It seems like you care about this guy and you also care about this friend. Although you may not want to openly admit it, it sounds like you like this guy and potentially want more with him, but are also worried about your friend and her feelings about him. You feel that she wants more and that he just may be playing games. So again, FX really recommends that you think about it a lot before making any decisions on how to proceed. You do have several options.
FX does want to take this opportunity to remind you that oftentimes, guys come and go, but good friendships can last a lifetime. Both you and your friend should think about this. You might want to encourage your friend to be open and honest with this guy about his intentions. If she wants to be more than friends with him, it is up to her to pursue it (same as you). Because real friendships are based on honesty and trust, it might be important for you to be honest with your friend (the girl) about your conflicted feelings. Jealousy is poison to any relationship, and you may lose two friends if this goes unresolved.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Persons aged 15-24, who represent only 14% of the 
