TeenHealthFX - Answers - Friend's Opinion - Too Much Comfort Between Divorced Parents

When Friends Are Hurtful Or Cruel / Question
Published: November 5, 2002

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My parents are divorced and my mom is dating. My dad and my mom work together in a business and are still close friends. I know a girl and she told my very good friend that she felt sorry for me for my messed up family and she goes around telling people lies about my family. I know that my family isn't "messed up" and I like the way my life is. When I tell her to stop she just denies what she has done. I tell her that she doesn't live in my life so she doesn't know what my family is like. All of my very close friends know that my family isn't messed up but people I have just met are always trying to comfort me for no reason. This is REALLY getting on my nerves. I have tried talking to her about this but she won't listen! What should I do?

Signed: Friend's Opinion - Too Much Comfort Between Divorced Parents

Dear Friend's Opinion - Too Much Comfort Between Divorced Parents,

First of all, TeenHealthFX thinks that it is wonderful that your parents still have a close and courteous relationship despite their divorce. People change over time and sometimes, marriages just do not work anymore. Although any divorce is quite painful for the people involved, including the children, it sounds like you and your parents managed to get through your parents' divorce without any hard feelings.

TeenHealthFX thinks that you have taken the right step in trying to talk to the girl who talks badly about you and your family. TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear that the girl is causing you pain by seeming to think that it is her business to question your life. Often, when people go around putting other people down the reason is because they do not feel good about themselves or have problems in their own life. By putting other people down they make themselves feel better. It might be that the girl you are talking about has an unhappy situation at home.

Although TeenHealthFX knows that this is very hard, you will have to learn to not mind what people, who are not close or important to you, think. There will always be someone who does not like the way you are, or the way you look. The important thing is to learn to feel good and secure about you and tell people to mind their own business. Having said that, if the girl continues to go around and damage your reputation you may want to try to have an adult you trust talk to her and try to find out her reasons. If that does not work, you may try to show her this letter and see how she reacts. Maybe she just has not realized yet how strongly you feel about this matter.

TeenHealthFX strongly believes that you have no reason to feel bad about your familiar situation, there is nothing bad in having parents who are divorced. As divorce has become increasingly more common it has also lost some of the negativity originally associated with it and usually children are no longer looked down upon in school for coming from a "broken" family. You can be proud to have two loving parents who care for you and each other, regardless of their marital status.

Signed: TeenHealthFX