Parents & Family / Question
Published: March 7, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Although I am not a teen I have a son that is 16. He lies so much that I doubt him every time he opens his mouth. Even when he is caught red handed he makes up some lie about it. I've read your other answers regarding talking to him and that hasn't worked. I have tried talking to him, punishing him, ignoring it, commending him when he does tell the truth and apologizing for not believing him. The only way to get the truth out of him is after a 1/2 hour fight between him and his father and even then it is only what he thinks will appease us. Sometimes we find that even then he has only told half the truth. His father and I are at our wits end. Anything you can suggest would be greatly appreciated.
Signed: 16 YO Son Is Lying - What Do We Do?
Dear 16 YO Son Is Lying - What Do We Do?,
TeenHealthFX hears your frustration. We recommend that you read the following for more information on lying during adolescence. You will see that you son is not alone in this behavior and may be exerting his growing independence from you - which is not easy for you to deal with. We recommend that you read "On Lying in Adolescence" which appears on the Mental Health Matters website. Another excellent report appears on the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry's website entitled "Children & Lying". Also excellent is the article "Lying and Dishonesty" on the Not My Kid website.
You will be able to gain some insight into your son's behavior and judge whether his lying is a way of asserting his independence, maintaining his privacy or covering for more serious behavior. You will also be able to better tailor your own responses to your son's lying.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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