TeenHealthFX - Answers - Like Him But Afraid to Lose Friendship

Friends / Question
Published: December 3, 2002

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I have liked this boy for about 7 years now but we are friends. He kind of knows I like him because his sisters told him but I haven't. He is always nice to me and we don't really flirt as much now like we used to. Should I tell him I like him or just leave things the way they are? If I tell him and he says no I'm afraid we will lose our friendship.

Signed: Like Him But Afraid to Lose Friendship

Dear Like Him But Afraid to Lose Friendship,

Unfortunately liking friends of the opposite sex falls into a really gray area. We have all experienced the frustration and confusion that goes on inside. There may be no definitive answer or fool proof way to remedy your situation, but some suggestions can help you through.

Being friends for such a long time has allowed you to learn how to interpret your friend's feelings and thoughts. If you do have feelings for your friend it may be quite possible that he has them as well. Interactions between friends can become flirtatious and intimate to an extent. After all you are sharing feelings and secrets through your conversations and body language as well. You can try to guess what your friend is feeling and try to read his actions, but in the end you cannot really know without talking to him. He may have the same feelings for you and may be too scared to tell you.

It is always a big step to cross the line from friendship into relationship. Sometimes it may be crossed too early or not at all. If you know that your feelings for your friend are strong and are more deeply rooted than normal admiration between friends you may want to consider telling him. He may be feeling the same way but afraid to jeopardize your friendship. If he does not return your feelings it may be awkward at first but you will still have your friendship. You cannot erase the bond that you have made.

Take it slowly and talk it out. Talk to a trusted friend, adult or counselor to help you sort out your thoughts.

Signed: TeenHealthFX