TeenHealthFX - Answers - One Of My Friends Is In Danger

Online Relationships / Question
Published: April 4, 2006

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I think that one of my friends is in danger. She(I'll call her Friend#1) has an online relationship with this 45 year old guy, and she is 14. She believes they are really in love and that she wants to marry him. Me and my other friend(He will be known as Friend#2) think she is in danger and will be raped if she meets him. However, she thinks we are telling her this just because we aren't really friends anymore, and she was very immature towards Friend#2, whom she dated while her and the 45 year old guy were having troubles.(Yes, she had 2 boyfriends at once. Actually, it was 3, the 45 year old, Friend#2, and her real life boyfriend. Friend#2 and I are also online friends of hers) So, how do we tell her that she is in danger?

Signed: One Of My Friends Is In Danger

Dear One Of My Friends Is In Danger,

There are many ways in which the Internet can be a wonderful and useful tool, however, there are also very real dangers that can come with surfing through cyberspace. One of these dangers involves the adults who use the Internet to prey on teens and younger children. These adults are very good at acting younger than their real age and/or portraying themselves as sweet, caring, and charming. Because of this, it is necessary to play it safe when considering online dating or chat rooms. This includes not giving out any photos of yourself or other personal information and not meeting anyone in person that you met online without a parent or other trusted adult overseeing the meeting.

If you have concerns that this friend – or any other friend – may be putting herself in harm’s way in how they are choosing to use the internet, as well as minimizing or denying that her well-being may be in jeopardy, it is important to notify an adult of your concerns immediately. TeenHealthFX is unsure how much you know about her since you said that you are only online friends. But if you know how to get in touch with her parents or know what school she goes to, you can either notify her parents or a staff member at her school. If you do not know any personal information about her in terms of being able to identify an adult in her life whom you can tell, FX recommends that you notify the police of your concerns and give them whatever information you have about your friend.

It might also be helpful for you and your friends to check out some web sites for teens on Internet safety, such as Cyberangels.org and National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. They have tips on keeping safe while surfing the web.

Signed: TeenHealthFX