Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: May 31, 2006
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. He told me that he loved me a month in a half into our relationship. Right off the back people told me that he cheated on me but i was too lovestruck to notice. In the seven months that we've been together, we have been through more things together than most married couples of maybe 5 years. I love hime. For the past 3 days he has lied to me completely and told me that he was places he wasn't. I found out that he was with my (now) ex-best friend. She lied to me also. Everyone said that they had sex. She admitted to me, but I feel only out of fear. He swears that he didn't and has told me over and over that he's sorry and really wants to be with me. I can't trust him but I still love him. What do I do? I think about him non-stop. He's calling me telling me that he wants me to forgive him bt all i can think about is him and her together betraying me. What should I do? Take him back and try and work it out or try and stop thinking about him, which is near impossible.
Signed: Take Him Back Or Stop Thinking About Him?
Dear Take Him Back Or Stop Thinking About Him?,
TeenHealthFX cannot help but think that taking him back would be an unhealthy decision for you. It is important for your emotional well-being that the people you pick as your close friends and boyfriends are people who treat you with love, honesty and respect. In lying to you and cheating on you, clearly this guy has not been treating you in a caring way to the best of his ability.
It seems like there is some unhealthy attachment for you with this guy. To want to pursue a relationship with him despite being informed of his unfaithfulness, and to still having such loving feelings for him considering you cannot trust him and state that you feel betrayed by him. FX thinks that you should not continue any kind of relationship with him, and strongly suggests that you find a trusted adult or counselor to speak to so that you can feel more clear about what is keeping you so connected to someone who does hurtful things towards you.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens with untreated depression are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
