Questionable Relationships / Question
Published: January 21, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am 14(male) and i am having sexual fantasies about my 16 year old sister, i am always having constant erections and i am very often sexual aroused by her. I thoughts about other girls to but it might be because i have seen her naked?
Signed: Sexual Fantasies About My Sister
Dear Sexual Fantasies About My Sister,
TeenHealthFX knows that it can be confusing dealing with the new emotional and sexual feelings that are common during puberty.
First of all, it is natural to be close to family members. In fact, having strong family bonds is important as you grow, in order to support and teach you so that you can have successful adult relationships when you are ready. You may feel very close to your sister, as you have shared memories and past experiences, and can relate easier to her than female classmates. Additionally, perhaps your sister is the first young woman you have seen naked. You do not say how you happened to see her naked, whether she is exposing herself to you, or your living quarters make it difficult for you and she to have privacy, or if you are peeking - whatever the case, the situation needs to be addressed. Perhaps you could speak with your parents about modifying the situation to ensure that everyone is able to live comfortably.
It is good that you have recognized that having sexual fantasies about your sister may not be the most appropriate. We want to reinforce, that acting on these fantasies with your sister is not only inappropriate, but could significantly harm your relationship. Having a physical sexual relationship with a family member is called incest, and it is both illegal and can be physically and emotionally hurtful for all parties involved.
Now, let's address the issue of "constant erections". It is very normal for young men (and even adults) to have erections at times that are less than convenient or appropriate. That's because erections are caused by sensory, mental, or physical stimulation. Sensory stimulation refers to when your senses (sight, taste, smell touch, or hearing) encounter something perceived to be exciting. Messages are sent to the brain to cue the muscles in the penis to relax so that blood can enter the chambers, that run the length of the penis, which causes an erection. So, while having an erection is nothing to be embarrassed about, focusing on your sister is not a healthy practice. TeenHealthFX wants you to know that you are not alone in dealing with constant erections. See our answer to Penis goes up when I see girls.
If you continue to be concerned about your thoughts, TeenHealthFX recommends that you speak to someone you trust like a parent, guidance counselor, or physician. If your not comfortable bringing this up with someone you know and you live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973.971.6475. Outside of this area, you can call your local teen health center.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Adolescents are more likely than young adults to become dependent on prescription medications.
