When Crushes Or Dating Gets Between Friends / Question
Published: July 23, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My friend and I have been friends for over 4 years. But recently he has gotten a girlfriend. Now he barely speaks to me. We make plans and than he blows me off to go with her. His girlfriend is nice and everything but she is always with him. And he refuses to let me hang out with them when there together. I just have no idea what to do about this. Please help.
Signed: Friend Blows Me Off For His Girlfriend
Dear Friend Blows Me Off For His Girlfriend,
This is a touchy situation, but since you and your friend have been best friends for four years you should be able to talk to him about this. Tell him how happy you are for him that he has a girlfriend and let him know that you do like his girlfriend as a person – but point out that it feels to you like now that he has this new relationship, he doesn’t have any time to hang out with you, his best friend. Let him know how much it hurts when he makes plans with you and then ditches you at the last minute. Explain that you don’t expect him to devote all his time to you, but that he should find some time to hang out with you considering the two of you have been best friends for some time. Keep in mind that this is a new relationship and experience for your friend – once they have been together for some time, or if they end up breaking up, your friend will probably be in more of a place to spend time with you or include you in plans with the two of them.
You can also look at this situation as an opportunity to branch out and spend more time hanging out with other friends. Your happiness and entire social life should not depend on this one friend. So FX does encourage you to think about ways you can involve yourself in constructive activities or socialize with other people so that you will feel you have full social network and plenty of things to occupy your time.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Each year, half of all HIV infections are among people under the age of 25.
