Questionable Relationships / Question
Published: August 20, 2008
Dear TeenHealthFX,
are some workplace romances a bad idea? I have become involved in one and I regret it horribly. Why don't they work?
Signed: Are Workplace Romances Bad?
Dear Are Workplace Romances Bad?,
TeenHealthFX would not want to make any kind of blanket statement that workplace romances are either all bad or all good – because the fact is that there are some people out there who are able to make it work and some people who are not. However, FX would want to caution people to do some thinking before jumping into a romantic relationship at work because certain factors do need to be considered and negative things can result.
- Workplace romances can be problematic because some employers have a policy against fraternizing at work. So if you are interested in dating at work, you have to think about the following two questions: Are you okay about keeping your relationship a secret at work and take the risk that the relationship might cost you your job? Are you both okay about one of you working elsewhere if this relationship takes off and you want to be public about your relationship?
- Is this relationship going to distract you from your work? It’s easy to lose your head when dating someone new – suddenly everything becomes about seeing that person, talking with that person, and so on. You were hired to do a job, and is this relationship going to get in the way of you effectively doing that job?
- What if the relationship does not work out? What kind of contact and interactions do you have with this person at work and will it be possible for you to handle these interactions following a break-up?
- Workplace romances can affect the dynamic of the whole team. When co-workers pick up that there is any kind of extra affection or favoritism, there might subsequently be a tension in the environment that affects everyone’s productivity and how people are interacting with one another.
- If a teen starts going out with someone from their school, chances are he/she knows a great deal about that person. He/she has been in school with them for a while and odds are that friends know about them as well – so you know what you are getting yourself into. The people you work with may be older or from different schools – you may not know as much about them. If you quickly jump into a dating situation without taking time to really get to know the person first, you might find that person is not who you thought they were and now you are in a sticky situation.
FX is sorry that you had to deal with such a bad experience regarding a workplace romance. But hopefully you can chalk the experience up to a live and learn type of situation, and do things differently if this ever comes up in the future. If you need help dealing with the current situation you are in, FX recommends that you speak with a trusted adult.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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