ME & Relationships / Question
Published: February 4, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
im 16 and for all of my life my parents have lived in cohabitation except recently they stopped living together and my mum moved out, i was watching a preogramme tonight about two people getting married and i just cant see myself ever accepting marriage merely becuase my parents never got married. im scared this could corrupt any relationships i have/am having with my boyfriend or in the future and think this might have lead me to having trust issues. is it more likely for people not to marry if they're parents arent married? please ! reply
Signed: My Parents Aren't Married - Will this Affect Me?
Dear My Parents Aren't Married - Will this Affect Me?,
TeenHealthFX can understand your concern and would think that, like any other teen, your views on relationships will be partially shaped by how you see your parents’ relationship with one another. However, FX wants to stress that their destiny is not necessarily yours. Marriage and a long-term commitment may not have suited them, but it does not mean that marriage or loving, exclusive relationships are out of the question for you.
If you have concerns that watching your parents relate to one another over the years has had some kind of significant negative impact on you, FX suggests that you meet with a therapist to discuss your concerns. A therapist can help you to work through any feelings you may have regarding your parents’ relationship with one another, as well as any trust issues that you worry may impact your current or future relationships.
Keep in min that, in general, whatever our parents’ choices are around marriage, career, children, or anything else – those were their choices and do not have to be ours as well. Just because we are similar to our parents in certain ways, does not mean we are the same as them.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Statistics show that giving a teen a credit card does not teach them to be financially responsible or to encourage self-restraint, but actually promotes a “spend now and deal with the consequences later” mindset.
