TeenHealthFX - Answers - Afraid To Take The Plunge And Get Hurt

Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: March 18, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Ok, I've been 'knocking on the door' of a relationship for a little while and I have heard that she is not very good at staying committed to any relationship very long, but I really* like her. My gut instinct says: "Just because she acted the way she did with her past relationships doesn't mean squat now," but, then again, I'm afraid to take the plunge and get hurt.

Signed: Afraid To Take The Plunge And Get Hurt

Dear Afraid To Take The Plunge And Get Hurt,

The fact is that with any relationship there is no guarantee that it will go the way you want it to. So starting a new relationship always comes with a certain level of risk that you may end up feeling hurt or disappointed. That said, TeenHealthFX thinks that you need to think about four things: Does how much you like this girl and the possibility that it could work make it worth it to take the risk? If the relationship doesn’t go the way you want it to, and you have to deal with some amount of hurt, do you feel confident that you have supports in place and your own coping mechanisms that will allow you to eventually get through that kind of tough time? Will you regret it later on or always wonder about what could have been if you don’t give the relationship a shot? Is her history of not being able to commit just too big or a risk for you?

If you decide to pursue the relationship, just go into it knowing that there is no guarantee that things will work. The higher your expectations, the more easily you will be disappointed. Try to have the attitude that if it works, that would be great – but if it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be and you’ll just keep looking until you find the right person for you. Take it one day at a time, pace yourself in the relationship, and enjoy whatever time you do have together rather than focusing so much on what the future will hold.

Signed: TeenHealthFX