Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: October 29, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm 13 now and I had a girlfriend about 3 years ago, until she had left my school, but now I found this girl that I really like and we talk and stuff and I want her to be my new girlfriend. We AREN'T going to have sex, and for that matter even kiss... It is just going to be a relationship were we like each other and we talk to each other over the phone etc. and maybe see each other at school and maybe come over to each other’s houses to talk and maybe play games etc?
Signed: Is it Okay to Have a Girlfriend When You’re Young?
Dear Is it Okay to Have a Girlfriend When You’re Young?,
What you describe in your question is a friendship which does not necessarily have to be categorized as dating. Perhaps your understanding of what a girlfriend is and what the nun was trying to explain are much different. According to TeenHealthFX’s math you began dating when you were 10 years old. Most people in general would consider that at 10 a person does not have the emotional maturity to form an exclusive relationship with a strong emotional connection to another person. Sure you can have a best friend but would you only want to have one friend and not be free to socialize with others. Dating in adolescents tends to imply that you are in an exclusive relationship.
At 13 you are begining to go through a lot of developmental changes attributed to puberty and starting to develop your own sexuality. The natures of these changes are ones that will transform you into adulthood complete with sexual urges. This can drastically change relationships because of the sexual component which can be very hard to understand at this point in your life.
Another important part to your question involves what values your parent and your church are trying to instill in you. Your parent’s have sent you to a catholic school because they want religion to be an important part of your life. TeenHealthFX thinks that it would be a good idea to bring this topic up with your parents or a clergy member and try and understand their views.
Remember it is possible to have a close relationship with a person of the opposite sex without categorizing it as dating.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
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