Friendships: Dealing With People's Differences / Question
Published: November 16, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I'm Korean and I just moved into a town where the majority of residents are white. I really don't like going to school because all of the kids make fun of the fact that I'm asian american. Sometimes they pull the skin on their eyes back so they have single eyelids, someone scratched the word chink onto my desk in one of my classes, and my gym teache "jokes" that I'm the resident gook. At first I thought this was all in good fun, but evrything gradually got worse and worse. Am I just being overly sensitive or is this something more?
Signed: Uncomfortable Being Korean In A Mostly Causcasian Community
Dear Uncomfortable Being Korean In A Mostly Causcasian Community,
TeenHealthFX sees nothing about what you have been dealing with as “good fun.” We are incredibly sorry that you have had to deal with this kind of behavior at school – and are particularly disgusted that a school staff member would display this kind of behavior towards you.
FX thinks that it is extremely important for you to speak to a school counselor and/or your school principal about the prejudiced behaviors you have been confronted with. Whether you speak to them on your own or have your parents join you in such a meeting, it is extremely important that the administration is aware of the kind of treatment you have been receiving from both peers and teachers. The school has a responsibility to make the school environment a safe one for you – and that includes addressing any kind of inappropriate prejudiced behavior.
It is important for you to get some help and guidance in how to deal with these types of behaviors, and it is also critical that your school implement some programs and policies that will foster tolerance. Consider some of the following resources to help you and your school in doing this:
· 101 Ways To Combat Prejudice, including tips for In Your School
· What Can Parents Do About Prejudice?
If you think it would be helpful, speak to your parents, a school counselor, or a private therapist for assistance in finding ways to deal with any prejudiced behaviors you may come across in and out of school. It would be very helpful for you to have a plan as to how to effectively deal with any problematic behaviors or comments made about your ethnicity. In addition, it is easy for sadness and/or anger to build up from continually dealing with other people’s cruel remarks and behaviors – so if you find any negative emotions building up in you, make sure you also seek out guidance and support for yourself to deal with these feelings before they become more intensified.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Crash risk is particularly high during the first year that teenagers are eligible to drive.
