ME & Relationships / Question
Published: December 11, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Okay, awhile back me and my friend were close and we are both girls, well we would always hang out and do things together, till one day we shared our feelings towards each other, still not ready to get to the next step, as we waited, her family was having a party at her house, she invited me so I went, I soon found out that my uncle had gotten engaged with her mother, I never knew in a million years that this would happen, I didn’t know, I was so confused and so was she. Well we are now step-cousins both 18, though every now and then I noticed that every time we hug we both seem touchy, I’ve had dreams being with her, every time I sleep over she wants me to sleep next to her, it’s hard because we started these feelings but my uncle and her mother beat us to the punch. What should I do? I mean we care for each other a bunch! And it’s not our fault, we almost kissed one night, the urge was unbearable!? I seriously need help ASAP! Please Please.
Signed: Well We are Now Step-Cousins
Dear Well We are Now Step-Cousins,
TeenHealthFX can see why this could be confusing for you. That must have been quite a shock when you went to the party and realized your uncle was going to marry your friend’s mother. Although it hits close to home there would technically be nothing incestuous about your relationship if you were to take it further. You would be cousins by marriage not by blood lines. TeenHealthFX recognizes that this is a very delicate situation for your friend and you because of how others would react if you were to take it to the next level. A lot of this would depend how others in your family would view the relationship. You may also have the added complication that you would be alerting them that you are interested in same sex relationships.
The best thing would be for you and your friend to sit down and have a long talk about where you see this relationship is going. Are the romantic feelings too hard to ignore or do you believe that it should just stay at the friendship stage.
If it is all too overwhelming to come to a clear decision then perhaps going to talk to a therapist about the relationship. Sometimes in life it is helpful to have an outside neutral party who can help in making important life decisions. Until you have this sorted out you may not want to sleep next to your friend when sleeping over. Sometimes sexual urges can manifest themselves before the person is emotionally ready.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
