Questionable Relationships / Question
Published: August 5, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am in a relationship with a guy a year older than me. Lately he has been trying to come on to me more than usual. Should I go along with him or make him stop?
Signed: Relationship With Older Guy
Dear Relationship With Older Guy,
Dating an older guy can often lead to situations like this. There are often "power differentials" with couples that are of different ages, which means that it can be hard for a girl to ask an older guy to take it slow. But remember, no matter what, no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable. What's more, you certainly have the right to make decisions about the relationship-and your body.
TeenHealthFX thinks it would be a good idea to take some time out for yourself to think about what where your boundaries lie. Once you have a clear understanding of what you can handle comfortably, have a talk with your boyfriend. Good communication is an important part of any healthy relationship-even when the topics are sensitive like this one. Hopefully, he will hear you out and respect your decisions. If not, you may want to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. Being involved with someone who does no take your feelings seriously can be tough. Read our answer to What Will Sex Be Like The First Time for things to consider before getting into a sexual relationship.
Finally, if you decide together that you are ready for sex, talk about it, and choose a reliable method of birth control to protect yourselves against STDs and pregnancy.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
A national study of women ages 15-44 found that women were almost twice as likely to receive contraceptive services rather than STD services.
