Same-Sex Relationships / Question
Published: November 1, 2000
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 14-year-old female, and I have had a crush on one of my other female friends for about 7 months. I told her I liked her and she's basically cool with it. But every night I cry because I want her sooo much and I know that I can't have her and it hurts so much. I have a lot of fun when I am with her but it just makes me want her more. What's going on with me?
Signed: Crush On Same Sex Friend
Dear Crush On Same Sex Friend,
You asked TeenHealthFX what is going on with you, and it is partially what is going on with many teens. Having a crush is common and often quite frustrating. It definitely hurts when the person you like does not return the same affection that you have and want from them. You have already expressed to your friend that you have feelings for her and that is really all that you can do.
Unfortunately, now you must wait to see what her response will be. She may need some time to think about what all of this means. Your friend might not share the same feelings that you have for her, or may not be ready to have and open relationship. You need to respect her feelings, but that does not mean that you cannot continue to be friends. You said that you enjoy doing things with her and always have fun. This is wonderful and much more than a lot of people have with the person to which they admire. However, if spending time with your friend makes you unhappy or hurt more later, than maybe you need to spend some time apart. In this absence, your friend may realize that she also has feelings, or you could look around to see that there are many other possibilities that await you in the future.
Whatever your decision is, it will be difficult. Remember to keep talking about your feelings and do not feel ashamed of them. You might want to check out the question Am I Bisexual for more information. There are going to be plenty of crushes in your lifetime, do not let this one discourage you.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted. 
