Friends / Question
Published: March 5, 2001
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 15-year-old male. I just found out that my friend is gay. I found out when I was home with him and he tried to put my penis in his mouth and tried to French kiss me. But I like girls and not guys. I still want to be his friend but now every time I see him and I think of the time he tried to put my penis in his mouth. What should I do?
Signed: Have A Gay Friend
Dear Have A Gay Friend,
What happened to you must be overwhelming and hard to sort out. TeenHealthFX is concerned because there may be other issues besides your friend's sexual orientation.
Whether a person is homosexual or heterosexual he or she does not have the right to make unwanted sexual advances on a person. In some circumstances, such as when force or coercion is used, or the incident happened between an adult and minor, there could even be legal consequences.
Before you can figure out how to deal with your friend, you need to make sense of your own feelings. Finding someone to talk to about this complex issue may be difficult. If there is not an understanding adult available to you, you might want to consider seeing a therapist. Therapists are accustomed to dealing with sensitive issues and are obligated to protect your privacy.
This incident is unfortunate because it lends to the stereotype that gay people are unable to control their impulses and will pick their partners at random. This simply is not true. Homosexuality is simply one type of sexual orientation and in no way implies anything negative about the person's sexual habits.
If you need a mental health professional and live in northern New Jersey you can call the Access Center of Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400 for an appointment.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
About a third of women who seek services related to unprotected sex, such as pregnancy testing or emergency contraception, do not receive STD counseling, testing, or treatment.
