ME & Relationships / Question
Published: January 21, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 17-year-old and I love my 18-year-old boyfriend very much. I have 2 beautiful children (2 years and 10 months); they are both my boyfriends. I recently found out that I was pregnant yet again! My boyfriend freaked out when he found out about this and has left the town where we live! My parents have already told me long ago that they will not give me anymore money. I was doing fine until my boyfriend left me. Now I have no money or a job. I can't get a job, as I have no one to watch my children. I would like to know if this is normal to have 3 children at my age and what I should do about it!
Signed: Lots of Children and Boyfriendless
Dear Lots of Children and Boyfriendless,
It sounds as though you have a lot going on! First, let us start by saying that you are not "abnormal," although your circumstances do put you in a unique situation. Most likely, you know many girls your age with far less responsibility, so your life very well may be different.
The first issue you need to address is the fact that you are pregnant. Since you already have children, you are aware of the importance of medical care. See your doctor immediately or to go to the nearest Planned Parenthood to confirm your pregnancy and discuss all of your options.
After this pregnancy is resolved it is important that you practice safer sex. There are numerous methods of birth control available today that fit into all types of lifestyles. Choosing one that is right for you and your partner is an important decision that should be taken seriously. Please - before engaging in any further sexual activity be sure to look into these options!
You do not mention if your boyfriend is the father of this pregnancy. Although it is sad and unfortunate that he left you, if these are his children then he is, at the very least, responsible for their financial well being. You may want to speak with a legal professional about your ex-boyfriend's responsibilities.
TeenHealthFX also encourages you to talk to your parents. It sounds like it may be difficult, but it also sounds as if they have offered help in the past. Give them this opportunity again. Initially they may be angry, but being honest with them will allow them to help you through this difficult time.
Next, you mentioned not being able to work and having little money. If you have not yet done so, you must check into public assistance programs. Contact your town, county and/or state regarding low-income housing, food stamps, day care facilities and job and school opportunities. You may very well qualify for these and other programs; utilize them to help get on your feet.
TeenHealthFX also recommends that you reach out to someone for emotional support. You are dealing with many adult issues and could use as much support as you can get. Try to locate a counselor you can talk to who might be able to help you take action. This person could probably be located through your local church, hospital or school system.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
