Significant Others: Girlfriends & Boyfriends / Question
Published: September 11, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
HI! I've been dating my bf for a little over a year now. Things are great, we love each other and are very happy. I only have one concern that he expressed to me. Recently we talked about the fact that girls love to be loved and shown in any way possible. We love the fairytale of a relationship that we've grown up with. That the man would do anything for the woman he loves. My boyfriend thinks otherwise. He thinks it should be equal and that it's very old fashioned to think that the girl should be the center of attention. I'm very old fashioned and I believe that if a guy really loves and adores you, he will want to make you happy in any way possible. I think the guy should make more effort to see the girl. Like the average guy does. It's a part of society, we see it in movies and every day life. That why I'm pushy about it and that's the way I've been raised. Anyways it's a personal opinion but I feel that our different opinions could cause problems later for me and my boyfriend. What should I do? Am I being too old-fashioned?
Signed: The Fairytale Girlfriend
Dear The Fairytale Girlfriend,
TeenHealthFX cannot tell you whether or not you are being "too old fashioned." If being treated a certain way is important to you, that is up to you to decide. Whether or not this might cause problems between you and your boyfriend down the line depends on how important it is to you to be treated as the center of attention, how willing he is to do so, and how much either or both of you is willing to compromise. It sounds like this is very important to you, so your relationship may depend on him agreeing to treat you the way you like. Eventually, you both will figure out if the dynamic is working for you or not.
TeenHealthFX would also like to point out that we see lots of examples of relationships in movies and on television, and many of them are not realistic. While it is completely up to you to decide what is important to you and how you expect a boyfriend to treat you, we would like to caution you against basing your expectations of relationships on these images, which are, just as you say, "fairy tales."
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Crash risk is particularly high during the first year that teenagers are eligible to drive.
