Parents & Family / Question
Published: September 11, 2003
Dear TeenHealthFX,
help me! my parents are way too strict! i have no life! my parents often hit me and slap me, and throw things at me! i need help! right now im grounded for the whole summer, and i've been grounded all year! and now im grounded to my bedroom! this means the only time i can come out is if im using the bathroom!i cant listen to music! im grounded form phone, from the computer (im at the library right now..), grounded from everything else u can imagine! i have to ask to eat anything! my friends never get into trouble and there worse then me! my parents are crazy! all i have done wrong is i have gotten on the phone, and they freak out!i cant stand this anymore! when came here today, they searched my backpack! i cant do this anymore! this may relate to suicide! which im very scared of! or maybe i'll run away! but i need help immediatly! things with my parents gets worse everyday! they make me feel worthless, the call me horrible names, and i am helpless here!!! please!!!!!!
Signed: Parents Way Too Strict
Dear Parents Way Too Strict,
TeenHealthFX can tell from what you have written that your family situation is very difficult. Everyone wants their parents to love and support them unconditionally and from your question it is clear that you are not getting the support, love and nurturing you need. What you have described sounds like being in a prison. Being hit and slapped, grounded for an entire summer, made to feel worthless and called names is not okay and is considered physical and emotional abuse and no one should have to live the way you are describing.
Hurting yourself or running away will not solve any of your problems, they will only add to the family conflict and your pain. Speak with an adult that you trust - a teacher or counselor or your doctor and let them know what is going on in your family. By law, they are required to report the abuse to local child protective services. Child protective services will conduct an investigation and if you are deemed to be in significant danger there is a possibility that you would be removed from your home and be placed out of your home until your living situation could be resolved. In most cases of abuse the goal is for the family to receive treatment (family and individual counseling) and eventually to be reunited. If this cannot happen, you would be placed out of the home with a relative or other suitable family/foster home. Teens are not typically allowed to move out without their parent's permission - it is usually a process involving children's services, parents and the teen.
You can also call your local child protective services yourself - you can identify yourself or remain anonymous. If you live in northern New Jersey call the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) at 800.792.8610. If you live outside of NJ, log onto ChildHelp USA to find out how to report where you live.
Again, TeenHealthFX knows that this is a difficult situation for you but it is not worth hurting yourself. If you think you may hurt yourself, call 9-1-1 immediately. If you live in northern New Jersey, you can contact the Crisis Hotline at Morristown Memorial at 973.540.0100. Outside of northern New Jersey call the Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 800.999.9999. Both hotlines are 24 hours, 7 days per week.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crimes and sexual assault, have serious problems in school, be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes, and develop problems with alcohol later in life.
