Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: May 2, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My current girlfriend and I are about to have the first sexual intercourse of our relationship. I myself am a virgin, my girlfriend too. I have read on your website that sex does not hurt if you are relaxed and the vagina is well lubricated, or "wet". My girlfriend is completely fine with oral sex, and masturbating each other. I don't want to hurt her. I want her to feel pleasure. I myself have a fairly large penis, (7.5 inches) but I don't want to "cum" to early. Is there any worry or chance of that happening? Thank you.
Signed: Worried Virgin
Dear Worried Virgin,
The best way to ensure that your first experience with sexual intercourse is pleasurable is to take your time and talk to your partner about what is comfortable for them. You should not insert your penis into your girlfriend's vagina until there is sufficient lubrication and she is feeling relaxed. If you are afraid of hurting your girlfriend you might want to have extra lubrication available. Even if you were aroused sometimes the body does not produce enough fluid to make intercourse comfortable. In this case you will need to use extra lubrication such as saliva, lubricating jelly (K-Y), or birth control foam. Never use Vaseline or an oil-based lubricant with a condom or diaphragm; it will deteriorate the rubber.
If it is the first time you may be nervous and more susceptible to premature ejaculation. If this happens, it is no big deal; many men have this happen the first time. The best thing is to relax and tune into your partners needs.
As always if you are sexually active, or thinking about becoming sexually active, TeenHealthFX wants and hopes that you practice safer sex. This not only means taking precautions against pregnancy but sexually transmitted diseases as well. It is always a good idea to be seen at a local teen clinic or Planned Parenthood to discuss various birth control options and any questions you may have, can be answered. A teen health center can see you confidentially without your parent's consent and on a low/no cost basis.
If you live in northern New Jersey you can make an appointment at the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health by calling 973.971.6475.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Among young people ages 12-17, prescription drugs have become the second most abused illegal drug, behind marijuana.
