Oral & Anal Sex / Question
Published: June 10, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I started having sex with my boyfriend about a month ago. Each time we have sex, I usually orgasm during it, he never does. I have to perform oral sex or give him a hand job to get him to ejaculate. Sometimes he ends up doing it himself because it takes so long. Is there any way to get him to ejaculate quicker or during sex? Is there anything wrong with him?
Signed: Boyfriend Takes Too Long to Ejaculate
Dear Boyfriend Takes Too Long to Ejaculate,
TeenHealthFX has received similar to yours so please know that you are not alone. TeenHealthFX cannot tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your boyfriend, only a doctor can tell you that. FX can give you some information though and some other answers to similar questions.
If he is able to achieve and maintain an erection through masturbation or sexual stimulation, chances are he should be able to reach orgasm. He may be so focused on ejaculating that he is creating anxiety that interferes with climax. It will probably help if he tries to relax and does not pressure himself. Almost everyone worries about pleasing his or her significant other. The best thing to do is to communicate with your partner. Talk about your feelings with each other and communicate during sex by telling each other what feels good and what doesn't. Remember, just because he does not ejaculate does not mean you are doing something wrong. Each man is an individual and each person's body is different
Having that said, TeenHealthFX strongly believes that since you two have decided to engage in sexual activity that it is important that you educate yourself about safer sex. There is much more to know about sex then how to do it. It comes with a responsibility to keep you and your partner safe as well as taking precautions against pregnancy.
If your boyfriend wants to be evaluated, he can talk to his doctor. If he is not comfortable discussing this with his doctor or does not have one and he lives in northern New Jersey, he can contact the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health at 973.971.6475 for an appointment. Outside this area, he can call his local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. These services will be able to answer his questions and provide whatever guidance is needed as well on a confidential and low or no cost basis.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes. 
