Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: September 26, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I have gone through most of the questions related to my problem but need an answer in more detail. I have a girl friend (age 22). I love and care about her feelings too much. We both are sexually attracted to each other and she never says no to me for having sex but it is very painful for her whenever I go for intercourse. She feels excitement as long as I stimulate my penis by touching the outer side of her vagina opening. I would like to know what position or method we should try in order to minimize the pain? Or how I could prolong my erection, which might bring her to reach orgasm. She has reached her orgasm two times but she always discontinues making love whenever she gets pain. Should I wait for her more, I have already waited one year. I hope it is just due to her virginity and not any other cause. Looking forward for your reply.
Signed: Girlfriend's Sexual Discomfort
Dear Girlfriend's Sexual Discomfort,
TeenHealthFX thinks it's great that you are sensitive your girlfriend's sexual needs. Your girlfriend's discomfort may be attributed to many things. Only a doctor can diagnose what is going on with your girlfriend after speaking with her and examining her. For more detailed information, check out our answer to Does Sex Hurt?.
You asked TeenHealthFX if you should "wait" for her, since you have waited for over a year. That is a question that you need to decide for yourself. Only you can decide if your relationship is worth working through this issue. Discussing your feelings and concerns with your girlfriend may help make your decision. Just remember that it is her decision if she feels comfortable having sex or not. Also, you should respect her decision without adding any additional pressure.
If your girlfriend does not have a doctor and she lives in the Northern New Jersey area she can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center For Health at 973.971.6475 for an appointment. Outside of this area she can call her local Planned Parenthood.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens with untreated depression are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
