Sexuality: Gay, Straight & Bisexual / Question
Published: November 26, 2002
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am a 13-year-old girl. I am attracted to guys, but just a little bit. I enjoy looking at other girl's breasts and pubic areas. I even think and dream about licking another girl out, feeling around and in her vagina, making out, feeling he breasts, and sucking on her nipples. I enjoy seeing pictures of nude girls and lesbians. Whenever I do I get really horny, and my vagina starts lubricating and vibrating. Whenever I see pictures of nude guys I think that their penises are gross. I never dream or even think about having sex with a guy. Does this mean I'm a lesbian?
Signed: Am I A Lesbian?
Dear Am I A Lesbian?,
TeenHealthFX does not know whether or not you are a lesbian. Even though you have some attraction to girls right now, you are only 13 and just beginning your teenage years. You are at a time in your life where you are coming to terms with your sexuality, sexual identity and sexual preference. You are learning what and whom you like and do not like, and this is all part of growing up. Eventually you will figure out what your sexual preference is, and whether you end up straight, lesbian or bisexual is completely ok and normal. It is important to remember that sexual preference is something that is biological and predetermined, which means that whichever sex you are attracted to and seek out in the future is something that you do not have a choice about- your body simply finds certain things attractive.
A lot of thirteen-year-old girls have not started to be sexually interested in boys yet, so it is completely normal not to think about having sex with guys or find their penises unattractive. Similarly, your fantasies about other girls are normal, too. Many men and women have fantasies and dreams about members of the same sex that turn them on physically. This does not mean that you are lesbian or bisexual. It simply means that you have some attraction to other females, and that is completely ok.
Coming to terms with your sexuality can be a difficult task and a lot of teens have trouble dealing with all the issues associated with it. You might want to find someone you can trust to talk to about what you are experiencing, like a parent, coach, doctor, guidance counselor or school nurse. In addition, you might want to check out a few web sites to gather more information - there is a lot of support for straight teens, gay teens and wondering teens. Some links you may find helpful are gurl.com and GALY-NJ.
Know that you are not the only teenager going through this, as FX has answered similar questions to yours in Am I Bisexual, Not Interested in Boys- Lesbian? and Straight?. You might want to check those out, too.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Teens often abuse prescription drugs because of the myth that these drugs provide a medically safe high.
