Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: June 26, 2007
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I just had sex with my boyfriend and for some reason I’m feeling weird like I’m sad or something and I don’t know why so I was wondering if you could give any suggestions why I’m feeling like this and what can I do to feel better
Signed: Just Had Sex And Feeling Weird And Sad
Dear Just Had Sex And Feeling Weird And Sad,
You did not mention whether or not this was your very first time having sex – either with your boyfriend or with anyone. But if it was your first time, it may be possible that you were not feeling completely emotionally ready to take that step. There may also be some sadness that now there is no more first time to look forward to – or if your first time did not live up to what you might have expected or anticipated out of a first time sexual experience.
Even if this was not your first time having sex, it is still possible that you were not feeling emotionally ready to be physically intimate either with your boyfriend specifically, or with anyone for that matter. FX recommends that you take some time to really think about whether or not you are comfortable being in a sexual relationship with your boyfriend or if maybe you would feel more comfortable slowing things down.
Another reason some people experience sadness after a sexual experience with someone is that having sex with someone is a very intimate, close and personal thing to be sharing with someone else. Sometimes when people have not felt like they have had very close and loving relationships in their lives with anyone (not just significant others), being in an intimate and close sexual relationship with others can bring on feelings of sadness because it reminds us of the times we have not felt close to others. It may sound a little odd, but it does happen to some people.
TeenHealthFX is wondering if it might be helpful for you to speak with someone about how you are feeling so you can come to a better understanding of where your sadness is coming from – since there are several possibilities. You could speak with a parent, extended family member, school counselor or a private therapist – whoever feels most comfortable for you.
And please remember – in addition to looking after your emotions when it comes to sexual relationships, it is also important to make sure you are protecting your body against unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs by practicing safer sex.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
About a third of women who seek services related to unprotected sex, such as pregnancy testing or emergency contraception, do not receive STD counseling, testing, or treatment.
