Sexuality: Gay, Straight & Bisexual / Question
Published: January 22, 2004
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, I am a gay 16-year-old male, and I have two problems. First, when me and my partner try to have anal sex, it hurts me, but I let him do it to make him happy. This is a big problem, but an even bigger problem is the fact that when I have to take a dump, I never have time, because it comes out in my pants. I think this is the result of our anal sex. Help please! I am afraid to ask my parents!
Signed: 16 YO Gay Male
Dear 16 YO Gay Male,
Your most important issue is to find out why you are having bowel problems. TeenHealthFX understands that you do not feel comfortable talking to your parents, but you must talk to a doctor. If you do not have a doctor and you live in Northern New Jersey, please call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at (973) 971.6475. If you live elsewhere, get in touch with your local adolescent health center or clinic.
Second, anal sex should be pleasurable, not painful. In addition, it should be something you want to do, not something you do to make your partner happy. You should not continue having sex with your partner until you have seen a doctor and gotten whatever treatment is necessary. After that, if you are only having anal sex with him because he enjoys it, we suggest you let him know that - you can find activities that make both of you happy. If you do want to continue having anal sex, you will need to ask him to be more gentle and patient so it can stop being painful. Try using a lot of lubricant and take it very slowly.
Finally, no matter what kind of sex you are having with your partner, we hope you are doing it safely.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
The motor vehicle death rate for male drivers and passengers ages 16-19 is more than one and half times that of their female counterparts.
