TeenHealthFX - Answers - Can't Orgasm, What's Wrong?

Sexuality & Sexual Health: Miscellaneous / Question
Published: January 28, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am a 16 year old female and have been sexually active for about two years now. I have never had an orgasm and it is very frustrating. Me and my boyfriend have tried just about everything and some stuff feels really good and I've even had my fingers and feet start to feel tingly, but not orgasm. What's the deal with this? Also, I can't do it by masturbating either. In fact I can't even come close that way. Is there something wrong with me?

Signed: Can't Orgasm, What's Wrong?

Dear Can't Orgasm, What's Wrong?,

From what you are describing, it sounds like you are responding to sexual stimulation. Just because you do not orgasm does not mean there is necessarily something wrong with you. There is no standard time for how long it takes someone to climax and each person's body is different. To learn more, click on TeenHealthFX's response to Wondering About Orgasm . Some professionals believe that too much emphasis is placed on the orgasm and too little on intimacy.

Try to remember that climax is only one part of the sexual relationship. It is important to stay in tune with your body's sensation and know what you are feeling. A sexually healthy person is one who can appreciate one's body and takes responsibility for his/her behavior. Also, he/she should be able to communicate openly with a partner in a way that expresses both love and intimacy. This should be consistent with your own values and beliefs. If you don't feel that these are characteristics about how you are feeling in a relationship, then the sexual experience may not be right for you yet.

If you continue to be concerned about your orgasms, or lack thereof, then TeenHealthFX suggests that you reach out to a doctor to talk about these issues further. If you do not have your own doctor and you live in northern New Jersey, please call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973.971.6475. You can also call local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. Teen health centers can provide you and your partner with information and materials for practicing safer sex against STD's and birth control. Teen health centers can see you at a reduced or no cost basis without your parent's permission and with complete confidentiality.

Lastly, since you are sexually active TeenHealthFX hopes that you act responsibly and practice safer sex to protect yourself against both STDs and pregnancy.

Signed: TeenHealthFX