TeenHealthFX - Answers - 13-Year-Old Friend Has Unsafe Sex

Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: January 8, 2004

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My ex-friend is only 13 and she has had unprotected, unsafe sex before a lot. She is the most popular girl at my school, but guys only go out with her because she'll do anything with them. How can I make her stop this and save it for marriage? Also, is it a law in any religion that masturbating is bad, or is there a law in any religion that bans sex outside marriage? I am a Christian and wanted to know.

Signed: 13-Year-Old Friend Has Unsafe Sex

Dear 13-Year-Old Friend Has Unsafe Sex,

We're glad to hear you're concerned about your ex-friend, but unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to "make her stop" this behavior. We agree that she is very young to be having sex, and that unprotected sex can be very harmful to herself and her partners, but this is her choice, even if you feel it's a bad one.

We're not sure what you mean by being her "ex-friend," but if you two are still on speaking terms, what you can do is let her know that you are concerned about her. You can suggest that she at least try to practice safer sex and let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk. If you continue to be concerned, you can talk to a counselor or teacher at your school. But ultimately, you are not responsible for changing her behavior.

As for your questions about masturbation and sex outside marriage, there are many religions (including Christianity) that believe these things are sinful and are are laws (or beliefs) of the church (or religion) that govern these behaviors. For more information on what Christians think about masturbation and premarital sex, you might try asking your priest or a family member.

Signed: TeenHealthFX