TeenHealthFX - Answers - Sex Life With/After An STD

Sexually Transmitted Diseases / Question
Published: March 13, 2003

Dear TeenHealthFX,

If u have an std, will u be able to have a sexual life with anyone anymore?

Signed: Sex Life With/After An STD

Dear Sex Life With/After An STD,

This is a good question, but does require some explanation. Try to stick with FX and read the entire answer. If you personally are concerned about an STD and your sex life, FX recommends taking further action and talking to your doctor before you start any sexual relationship.

Many people view an STD diagnosis as the end of their sexual life. There are several different types of STDs, some are curable through treatment and others affect people for life, and may even shorten their life. Diseases that are caused by a bacteria, like Chlamydia can be cured with an antibiotic, but its symptoms sometimes go unrecognized for a lengthy period of time and can cause infertility if not treated promptly. Also, unless both partners are treated, the disease can be retransmitted, so it's important that both partners get tested, treated, and finish all courses of treatment. Viruses like Herpes or HIV stay in the body for life. They may be transmitted even if the infected person does not have symptoms, and HIV can significantly change the quality of life and life expectancy of a person.

When people are diagnosed with an incurable STD, it is important for them to understand exactly how transmission occurs, and how they will have to alter their sexual activity to ensure the safety of their current or future partners. Honesty is a big issue, and it is important to tell a potential partner up front about the condition and protection options that you will use. Some people may not be understanding, and will be unwilling to either have a non-sexual relationship or one with obstacles. Hopefully, people with an incurable STD will find someone who cares about them for who they are, and is able to deal with the provisions that will have to be made to protect them from transmission. There are plenty of ways to be intimate with someone and not exchange body fluids, this may include hugging, cuddling, massaging each other, or even mutual masturbation (where each party touches themselves, in close proximity to the other person).

Sexual relationships are difficult, but when you add an STD into the situation, they can be even more stressful. That's why the best thing is to protect yourself and never contract an STD, but know that if it does happen, that several are curable. And even if you have an incurable STD, there are options. Abstaining from sexual activity is the only 100% sure way to know that you will not contract or transmit an STD. But, that is not an option for everyone, so limiting your partners is important. Also, consistently using a barrier method such as condoms, latex gloves and lubricant, and dental dams can reduce the amount of exposure that a person has. Getting tested regularly and discussing STDs and past sexual history with a potential or current partner may help in making decisions about sexual activity.

You are not alone in your curiosity, check out "Dating a Girl with Genital Herpes" to hear more about how another teen is dealing with sexual activity with someone who has tested positive for an STD. To get more information about STD testing, contact your doctor, local teen health center, Planned Parenthood, or if you live in northern NJ, call the Adolescent/Teen Health Center at (973) 971-6475.

Signed: TeenHealthFX