TeenHealthFX - Answers

Sexuality: Gay, Straight & Bisexual / Question
Published: March 30, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

Hi, im a 13 yr old boy and I have recently found out that I have a crush on a boy, fantize only about Men, and find my self turned "on" by men. Does this mean I am gay? Please respond I have already submitted this before. from Am I gay

Signed: Am I Gay

Dear Am I Gay,

It is very hard for TeenHealthFX to know what your sexual orientation is – only you can know that from what your thoughts and feelings tell you over time. You are still young and it is possible that you are just in a phase of sexual curiosity and sexual exploration. However, it is also possible that you are either gay or bisexual. But only time will tell – and only you will know by examining your own thoughts and feelings what is right for you when it comes to your sexual orientation.

Since this can be a very difficult and confusing situation for teens, FX recommends that you find someone to talk to about this – someone who can give you some support and guidance as you try and figure out what these thoughts and feelings could mean. You could speak to your parents, an extended family member, your doctor, a trusted teacher, a therapist or anyone else where you could feel like you have a safe, private place to talk about this issue.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 973-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

You could also contact the following hotlines:

Gay and Lesbian National Hotline, 1-888-THE-GLNH (366-8288), 24hours, 7 days a week.
Gays and Lesbian Teens, 1-800-850-8078, 24 hours, 7days a week. A crisis hotline for gay, lesbian and questioning youth, ages 25 and younger.

You might also find these two organizations helpful to you:

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center is the largest multi-service organization on the East Coast and the second largest LGBT community center in the world. They work to provide various types of services and education related to important LGBT issues. They also offer YES (Youth Enrichment Services), a program to help end isolation for many LGBT youths. FX thinks it would be helpful for you to check out their website. If you do not live in the New York City area to get directly involved with The Center, contact them and tell them where you live so that they can give you recommendations about possible resources in your area.

Centerlink (formerly known as The National Association of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Centers) serves over 165 LGBT community centers across the country. These communities serve over 1.5 million people with direct services, educational efforts, and working towards social change.

Signed: TeenHealthFX