Sexual Readiness? / Question
Published: September 17, 2009
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I’m 12 and I want sex with my girlfriend really bad. Why do I have this feeling and where does it come from.
Signed: I'm 12 and I Want Sex With My Girlfriend
Dear I'm 12 and I Want Sex With My Girlfriend,
The thoughts that you are feeling are most likely a result of some physical sexual stimulation that you are experiencing. The fact that your thoughts are not in sync with your body is a strong indicator that you are not ready to be in a sexual relationship. This is why society, and the law in particular, does not believe that a 12 year old has the emotional capacity to make a consensual decision to engage in a sexual relationship. The majority of states recognize that a person needs to be a least 16 years of age before they are able to make that kind of decision.
TeenHealthFX recognizes that these feelings must be very confusing for you and that you most likely get a lot of mixed messages from the media and friends when it comes to sex. That is why good sexual health education is so important. Not only does the question you ask have implications for you but for your girlfriend as well. This is such an important area that TeenHealthFX has a whole sub category titled Sexual Readiness under the Sexuality and Sexual Health Section.
Right now you are going through a phase of rapid emotional and physical changes known as puberty. This phase of development usually starts at about 10-14 years of age. The process begins with testicular enlargement, followed in about a year by penile enlargement. Pubic hair usually precedes the growth of the penis. Facial hair will also appear, as well as the hair under the arms. However, some males do not grow much facial hair and they may not grow a lot of hair under their arms. This depends on the individual. If you would like a more in depth look at puberty check out the American Academy of Pediatrics to learn more what happens to your body during puberty.
It is also very important to understand your parents’ values and beliefs regarding sexual behavior. Part of being a parent is instilling in your children the values and religious beliefs that are important to them. TeenHealthFX can help educate you on teen development and sexuality, but your parents’ and individual religious views also play a very important role in your sexual development.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted. 
