TeenHealthFX - Answers - My Last Boyfriend Left Me for a Girl Who Has Herpes

Sexually Transmitted Diseases / Question
Published: October 8, 2009

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My last boyfriend left me for a girl who has herpes. I'm uncertain on whether or not he cheated on me with her before he left me. (I'm on Ortho-Novum and use condoms, but sometimes I didn't use condoms with him because we were both clean.) I've had protected sex with a few guys since the breakup seven months ago and I've found a disease-free man who truly cares about me, and I want to have sex with him someday without a condom. Should I get tested, or should I stop worrying?

Signed: My Last Boyfriend Left Me for a Girl Who Has Herpes

Dear My Last Boyfriend Left Me for a Girl Who Has Herpes,

There is no question that you should get tested. The fact that you are uncertain whether your ex- boyfriend cheated on you with a girl that has herpes and you did not always use condoms when having sex with him is cause for concern. This issue will probably continue to nag at you until you know the answer. It sounds like you may have found someone who you care about and who cares about you. You owe it to yourself as well as him to know if you have Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI). Here is some information from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) about herpes:

What Is Genital Herpes?

Genital herpes is an STD (sexually transmitted disease) caused by one of two herpes simplex viruses: type 1 (HSV-1) and type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2.
Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 and HSV-2. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender sores that may take 2-4 weeks to heal.
The infection can stay in the body indefinitely, but generally the number of outbreaks, the severity of the outbreaks, and the time it takes for sores to heal all decrease over time.

How Common Is Genital Herpes?

In the U.S., at least 45 million people over the age of 12 have a genital HSV infection. That is one out of five adolescents and adults.
HSV-2 is more common in women (1 out of 4) than in men (1 out of 8).

How Is HSV Transmitted?

HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they can also be released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore.
Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection.
Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and is not aware that he/she is infected.
HSV-1 can cause genital herpes by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with someone with HSV-1. More commonly HSV-1 causes infections of the mouth and lips.

Signs and Symptoms of Genital Herpes:

Most people with an HSV-2 infection are not aware of it because they have no signs or symptoms.

When a person is symptomatic he/she may experience:

Sores
Flu-like symptoms, including fever and swollen glands

Complications of Genital Herpes:

HSV can cause recurrent, painful genital sores
Herpes infections can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems, such as those with HIV
People who know they have genital herpes can experience psychological distress related to the diagnosis.
HSV can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies.
Herpes can make a person more susceptible to HIV infection and can make HIV-infected individuals more infectious.

Diagnosing Genital Herpes:

By visual inspection during an outbreak and by taking a sample from the sores and having it tested in a laboratory.
HSV can be diagnosed between outbreaks by the use of a blood test.

Treatment for Genital Herpes:

There is no cure for genital herpes.
Antiviral medications are available that can shorten and prevent outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication.
Daily suppressive therapy for symptomatic herpes can reduce transmission to partners.

Preventing HSV Transmission:

The only sure way to prevent transmission of STDs, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact.
The next best way to avoid transmission is to be in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship where both partners have been tested and are known to be uninfected.
Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.
It is possible to contract HSV even with the use of a condom as a condom does not prevent all skin-to-skin contact during sex.
People with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms are present.
Remember that even if a person with herpes does not have any symptoms, he or she can still infect sex partners.
Remember that people can be infected with HSV and not be symptomatic and therefore not even know they have herpes. So your partner may tell you he/she has no STDs, believe he/she is being honest, but may then unknowingly pass on the virus. This is why STD testing prior to sexual contact and the use of condoms is so important if people choose to be sexually active.
Sex partners of infected people should be advised that they may become infected and should use condoms to reduce the risk.
Pregnant mothers with HSV should inform their doctors and consider a C-section to help prevent contracting the virus to their baby during delivery.

TeenHealthFX encourages you to make an appointment to get tested as soon as possible. It is time to stop worrying and get on with life.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health in Morristown 973-971-6475 or the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health in Summit at 908-522-5757 for an appointment. Outside this area contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood.

Signed: TeenHealthFX