Body Weight - What's Normal? / Question
Published: September 28, 2006
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I’m a 12 yr old girl I’ll be 13 in September. I want a perfect figure. My current figure is 30 22 30.Is it ok??? Physical appearance matters me a lot. So plz help me out. Does u think I have a big breast size??? Plz do help me out!!!
Signed: Want A Perfect Figure
Dear Want A Perfect Figure,
What matters in the end here is not what TeenHealthFX thinks about your figure, but how you feel about the way you look since it is your body and you are the one who has to live with that body day to day. What concerns FX more than anything here is how much physical appearance matters to you and your need for a “perfect figure.” FX is worried that looks may have become so important to you that it is interfering with your developing an overall positive sense of self, and that you may eventually feel driven to pursue some unhealthy means in order to try to achieve a particular body type.
FX can understand how easy it is for young women today to become so focused on physical appearance and achieving the “perfect” figure. In our society, we are constantly bombarded by images of women through movies, television, and magazines – and we are made to believe that these images are what women should strive for in terms of physical appearance. The problem with so many of these images is that they often set up unrealistic expectations for women about how their bodies should look. Here are some things to consider in terms of why these images give false impressions of what is realistically attainable:
- In magazines, the pictures of female models in magazines are very often airbrushed and altered in some way. With the technology that is available today professionals can alter the pictures of these women in terms of changing bone structure in the face or erasing sections of arms and legs to make their limbs look leaner. The image we are often left with looks very real, but unfortunately it is very deceiving and sets up nearly impossible standards for the average woman to achieve.
- Many models and female celebrities will use unhealthy means in order to maintain a certain physical appearance – starving themselves, over-exercising, using dangerous appetite suppressant pills, or using illegal drugs to suppress their appetites. While they may be left with what we are made to believe is the “perfect” figure, many have attained that look at a terrible price in terms of the short and long-term damage being done physically to their bodies.
- Finally, FX would like you to consider that when you look at female models and celebrities, that they have people working for them to help them look the way they do – hairstylists, professional make-up artists, fashion consultants, etc. These women do not wake up looking the way they do when we see them in magazines or on the television or movie screens. So do not always use their public appearances as a baseline or guideline of how you should be appearing day to day.
FX hopes that you will come to a place where you feel positively about yourself and your appearance, “perfect” figure or not. Here are some ways to do that:
- Make sure you find and spend time with people who are caring towards you and who treat you well. When a person surrounds himself/herself with people who tend to be negative, very critical or mean in any way, it can be much harder to feel good about oneself.
- Treat others with respect and insist on being treated with respect in return. Try not to say things to yourself like, “I don’t deserve to be treated nicely,” “I don’t look as good as he/she does,” or “He/she is too good for me.” It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you allow people to treat you badly or put yourself down and compare yourself in a negative way to others.
- Try and find something you feel you do well – and make sure you spend time doing that thing. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and achievement can certainly contribute to an overall positive sense of self. So whether it is sports, art, music, academics, volunteering, working, cooking, etc. – make sure to make time for whatever it is that you do well.
- If someone ever is critical towards you or puts you down in any way, try to recognize when these comments made towards you are really not statements about who you are and do not to take those comments personally. For example, if someone makes a negative comment about your physical appearance, it may not really be about how you look – maybe that person is jealous or maybe that person is looking to be mean or get a rise out of you. But it does not necessarily mean the problem is with you!
If you find that you are starting to feel too obsessed or focused on your figure, and you would like help with this issue, FX suggests that you meet with a therapist to discuss your concerns.
If you live in northern
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Less than 33% of teens with depression get help, yet 80% of teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek help from a doctor or therapist.
